As I compose this Substack, tens of men are tearing down scaffolding outside my window. It feels like a metaphor for something like new beginnings or finally being able to see clearly but I’m just happy I’ll be able to open my windows again, let in a cool breeze, or run my AC when the temps get too damn high.
With all that’s going on from campus crackdowns to the US supplying military aid to N and his government, one can’t help to escape to the likes of IG and TikTok for some well spent doom scrolling. The irony, of course, that our own government is trying to ban social media before they ban guns — the actual harbingers of death and destruction already inside our borders. But I don’t want to contribute to the doom. Instead, we should acknowledge it and look to those who can offer a brighter path forward. Who those people are, I don’t know, but if there are any resources to help those in need or worthy causes to support, please drop a shout out or link in the comments below.
New York, I Love You
Despite trying to not be outside and spend money, I’ve managed to traipse a bit around town with minimal cost to my bank account.
As I hoped, I did return to the Danielle McKinney solo show on closing night after all. And what a stark difference it was. No more than five people were there at any given time and I was able to take in each piece for as long as I wanted before the gallery closed. I’ve never been one to stare at a work for a long period of time but I get it now. Every time I look deeply into the strokes of Danielle McKinney’s paintings a new layer is revealed. My favorite of the entire ‘Quiet Storm’ exhibit would have to be “Read the Room.” It’s an enigma, a question, but also a warning, and perhaps too the smallest sliver into… I don’t know what exactly. But I had so many questions. Like, who is intruding the space? Is it a welcome entrance? And why, also, does the figure seem to be putting up a defense while also welcoming the visitor… or is it for us, the viewer, to read the room and perhaps stand back from the painting and put together the pieces of the gaze for ourselves?
Also in the past weeks, during my trio of out of town visitors, G and I trekked up to the Cloisters, an area in Manhattan I haven’t been to in a long long time. Thanks to my state ID it was ‘pay as you wish,’ so I donated a small sum given my current employment status. While G, I think, had a better appreciation for The Met ‘Cloisters’ museum itself, I was itching to hike a wee bit south to my favorite bit of park within Fort Tryon — the highest point in Manhattan. This was the park I lived next to and enjoyed almost daily when I first moved to New York in 2012. It’s expansive and maze like with stone arches and wandering gardens. I sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson and closed my eyes for a spell to soak up the location before we had to head back ‘into the city,’ to catch our reservation at Grandma’s Home. While we didn’t partake in the claypot chicken (definitely returning with friends in tow as it feeds 3-4), my tastebuds, as always when G visits, experienced a surprising maelstrom of new flavors that of course, as always, opened my mind to new dishes. I’m a picky eater but G has never failed me minus a tofu incident in Beijing circa 2011.
Lastly - never underestimate a quality park hang amongst friends. While I was feeling some type of way of beginning a new trip around the sun, I’m hella thankful for my friends, old and new, who gently encouraged me into doing a small something instead of nothing at all to mark the occasion. I was more than happy to dust off my DIY bocce ball set and despite the cold temps, and um wind, I conclude it was a success.
The Musings R.E.P.O.R.T.
Reading - 10/10 recommend and could not put down Yellowface by R.F. Kuang. While this books claims to be ‘satire,’ I couldn’t help but swap out the likes of L.A. Writers Rooms to R.F.’s publishing backdrop and all rang true. No ‘satire’ label needed.
Eating - Discovered the Piadina Classic at Caffe de Martini. So simple. So good!
Playing - While I’m still picking away at Shōgun (an epic masterpiece) and Under the Bridge (Lily Gladstone is a mesmerizing force), I finally finished my slog through The Girls On The Bus and the finale, for me, was the best episode to date! If only the rest of the entire first season had the same energy and gumption of the CW-style-Sorkin they’ve been chasing all along. Suddenly I want there to be a season 2! And I can’t believe I’m saying this but unfortunately I feel like we need a show like TGOTB given the current election cycle. Embarrassed to admit that until I saw this episode I had no idea what actually happened at a Democratic National Convention. My worst subject in school was history but thanks to this finale episode, I learned the meaning and importance behind some of our election minutia. Now — do I want our heroic journalists to take down the Hot White Guy (their words, not mine, and played by Scott Foley) who is the fictional Democratic Nominee? No. And partly because it would give the other party leverage in this fictional General. However, if the demise of Scott Foley’s Kansas Mayor (appreciated that Jayhawk shoutout by the way) ushers the return of Hettienne Park’s Felicity Walker, then I wouldn’t mind seeing her finally take the reins and perhaps winning in this alt 2016 reality. Last I’ll say, I really appreciated the mirrored arcs of right wing news’ Kimberlyn (played by Christina Elmore of Insecure “Condola” infamy) and Gen Z social media activist Lola (Natasha Behnam). I see what you did writers. Props.
Obsessing - Challengers. I want to see it again. Also
’s “Desk Tour” series. It’s oddly comforting seeing successful writers’ desks and realizing, oh hey, they’re just like us! Olivia, if you’re reading this, can you add Tia Williams, Jhumpa Lahiri, Sonali Dev, Clare Pooley, Kirthana Ramisetti, and Shirlene Obuobi to your list?! And also obsessing over this mini cloud basketball situation. Lowkey wouldn’t mind procuring and installing over my living room’s reading chair.Revelations - I keep learning this lesson over and over again but nothing’s original y’all. Between published retellings, fanfic turned multi-million dollar franchise, and greenlit medical pilots screaming with OG ER energy that have come across my desk (no shade, will watch when it airs), just go for the damn thing and write your heart out.
Treating - Was in a good mood and skipped my way over to Prospect Heights and treated myself to a $6 lemon bar that I’ve been thinking about for forever after turning in a piece of writing for peer review. We love positive reinforcements.
Musings
Oh where to begin with this one. First and foremost this is merely an observation turned exercise in writing down how I feel about what I witnessed. I’m still grappling with the complexity of it all, and firmly believe this to be a grey area with no clear rights or wrongs, but I was left feeling not great and well — here we go:
* let it be known that I have not read the book but have only watched the movie after attending the below event *
The night before the Amazon Prime feature premiere of The Idea of You, I found myself at Black owned bookstore Adanne in Bed-Stuy. I’ve been wanting to go for ages, we love an indie bookstore and shopping local, but when I saw that Tia Williams was hosting a booktalk (that’s what we call these, right?) with Robinne Lee - the author of the book The Idea of You - I jumped at the chance to attend. After all, I’d seen the trailer starring Anne Thee-Can-Do-No-Wrong Hathaway and was surprised to learn via Tia’s IG post that Robinne ‘the author’ was the same Robinne Lee of early aughts fame. A Black woman. And an already successful and established one at that. Upon this news to me discovery, to quote JSP a la SATC, I couldn’t help but wonder why Robinne would write such a white-centric story instead of uplifting our own voices and especially in the romance space.
While the booktalk (talkback?) went smoothly, it wasn’t until the Q+A portion where the air became thick and a wee bit tense. Right out of the gate THE question was asked. “Why tell this story?” We were in fact in the heart of Bedford–Stuyvesant, a historically Black neighborhood in Brooklyn inside a Black, woman owned bookstore, with a majority Black audience (save for perhaps two people), promoting a white protagonist and her white boy band love interest. It was a fair question. And while Robinne could have answered in any sort of way (and did), her rambling answer was troubling to me.
First - She talked about how hard it is in publishing to sell romance stories centered around multiracial couples. She touted that she previously wrote books about women of color with white partners (Robinne’s partner is white) but was told time and time again by publisher, agent, some sort of gatekeeper that they had already filled their quota for that kind of book. While I believe her, publishing is a notoriously white industry, don’t get me wrong, and I don’t doubt her story at all, it was just troubling to me that she ‘blamed publishing’ given that Tia Williams was sitting right next to her with a microphone in hand. Tia Williams, whose biggest trio of books to date only feature Black protagonists. So to lead with blaming the publishing landscape, I felt, was ill placed.
Second - If I remember the timeline correctly, Robinne shared that she was writing this book circa 2015/2016 to get it off her plate so she could focus on her role in the then-upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. When talking about racial inequality in the publishing space she kept using the phrase, “Pre George Floyd,” which I found uncomfortable. Why bring his name into any of this? I know she meant to allude to the time before DEI initiatives and the Summer of 2020, but I just felt that the use of his name was disrespectful given the subject matter.
Third - The more ‘shocking’ explanations to the initial question was the fact that she felt burdened writing about Black women aka herself. She explained she chose to write not-a-Black-lead was because she felt burdened by the weight of representation, and that she ‘wanted to get it right,’ and that she knew her book wouldn’t sell if she did. Adding that the protagonist ‘Solène’ couldn’t be a Black woman given the plot and extra layer of vitriol that would have been thrown her way. Robinne didn’t stop there. She further explained how freeing it felt to write white. While I understand wanting to get a book published and making the necessary changes to do so to be successful (and look, it worked!), it was hella disheartening to hear all of this because if I were a less mature writer, or adult woman for that matter, what I would take away from all this is that our stories don’t matter. Don’t even try.
Tia could tell Robinne’s response was not being well received and tried to help her friend out multiple times but Robinne was either immune to these attempts or doubling down on what appears to me to be her own internalized white supremacy. Tia kept asking ‘Well who did you picture on your Pinterest board while writing,’ or ‘Who was your dream cast when you found out it was going to be turned into a feature,’ and each time Robinne failed to at least attempt to be down with her own. Later, someone forwarded me an article where Lee said she wasn’t even involved in the film, never spoke to the screenwriters and director, even though she, her husband, and Gabrielle Union were listed as producers of the film.
I am of the mindset that a writer can write whatever they want as long as they put in the research and cultural sensitivity that the piece requires. Should we however uplift those voices that are normally marginalized in majority white spaces with less access to success? Yes. But to even go back to R.F. Huang’s Yellowface and the question it poses of who can tell whose stories, I don’t disagree with the character of June’s explanations (her actions, however, are another story) on why she should be allowed to publish her Asian American friend’s posthumous work.
Lastly - I think I’m more upset at the fact that Robinne didn’t just own her choice. Part of me wishes she was just like, “Yeah, I chose to write Solène in this way because that’s the story I wanted to tell.” Like yes, you’re allowed to write whatever, but instead, she chose to blame publishing, her own insecurities of writing about her own people, and denying the fact that she had anything to do with the film while a giant poster of Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine welcomed us into the store and free movie-tie-in copies of the book waited in our seats. And don’t get me started on the fact that Robinne’s likeness was all about invisible leading up to the premiere of the film. If I hadn’t seen Tia’s IG post on my bookstagram in the first place, I never would have known that the romance phenomenon that is The Idea of You was created by a Black woman. Choices were made. We all can read the receipts.
And to everyone saying “Well look at Shonda Rhimes and Meredith Grey,” please go look at Shonda Rhimes’ IMDB. She started off with Introducing “Dorothy Dandridge,” a 1999 made for TV movie starring Halle Berry - a Black woman - that I remember watching when it aired. Then came Crossroads in 2002 which, at least, co-starred Zoe Saldana. Then she got Princess Diaries 2 (established Disney IP, hello Anne), then finally her breakout hit Grey’s Anatomy… and the rest is Shondaland history.
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Phew. Forgive my word vomit soapbox moment for The Idea of You but yeah, lots to unpack. As always, hope everyone is staying safe and sane out there. Protect your mental health, and enjoy this spring weather.
M.
Hi! Yes. Thank you so much for the suggestions. Adding them to the list!! Appreciate you reading and enjoying so much!
I watched The Idea of You over the weekend and appreciate this background on the author!